I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
