Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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