It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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