Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize