Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I believe in your delicious
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
