Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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