I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
