Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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