I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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