Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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