I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
