Kiss
Puke
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
