if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
