She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
