if you like me you must not know who I am
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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