i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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