I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
