I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
