he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
