i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
