i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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