who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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