my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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