This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Randomize
