; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
