can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The cops high fived after they tackled you
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize