batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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