I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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