I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
