Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
