Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
