I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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