something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
