Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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