Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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