Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
