i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
