OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize