it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
