i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
