I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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