On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
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