...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
