i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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