Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
