and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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