Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
