? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
