Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
