Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
