Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just want nice things and good sex
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
