Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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