He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
