I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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