It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
